(I COPIED THIS ENTRY FROM ME DEVIANTART ACCOUNT)



I'm on break today. I have been for a while. XD I go back on monday. It's Thursday! Hooray! I want to chicago with my freind Emily. It was really cool. We went to the Mitsuwa marketplace, and I bought some candy. I looked for E-ma candy, but we didn't find any.

I wanted a Gackt calendar, but they sold out. Gaaaah! If I could wake up, every morning, and look at Gackt, I would be the happiest, most well focused, straight A student in the world-I mean they say the first thing you say in the morning effects the rest of you day.

We went to a temple. I had to wash my hands before I came in, and I was kinda *Dur* and yeah, I had to wear this sash thing, and it was cool, and I'm white...yeah. It was a new years service, because ut was new years, apparently 07' is the year of the fire boar. We watched a service being broadcast live from Japan. This kid who looked just Gackt kept standing next to me, but he kinda looked weird. This girl at the temple had a lime green shirt and it had a bright pink outline of T-rex on it. I wanted it soooo bad. I guess stealing a shirt right off of a girls back at a temple is just a bad idea.

The car ride there and back was cool, they have a rice-maker hooked up in the car. I ate rice...yeah. After the temple we went back to the marketplace. I ate some tempura udon, and got stared at by some asian skater kids. I appear to be an asian skater kid staring magnet. I can't ever get one, because asian skater kids are super hot and stuffs, they just like to stare at me...because I was probably the onle white person in the entire area. I got laughed at...because well, I'm very culture...akward.

Oh! It was also the japanese rice pounding fesitivle. These guys with a giant hammer pounded rice in a bowl untill it was sticky and stuff.


Well, thats all for now. I just got back Toronto now, and I've done some really cool stuff in there. I won't post it now, because thats a whole another long entry. But I will say I stayed on the street that Boondock Saints was filmed on. Whoooo!

Holy crap it's been a long time since I've updated...

I guess I'm upadating to rant, and let out some feelings, because right now I feel like I am going to throw up.

A friend of mine told me that she has all kinda secret problems she dislikes about all of her other friends, and then told me the issue was that she dislikes it when her freinds over analyze her career choices....

So wait a minute, you get crazy into detail with the colledges, and the plans you have, and then get depressed when we talk about how it worries us that your so wrapped up in it?

I don't get it, thats totally contradicitng herself. Thats not our problem, thats somthing she brought upon herself. We overanalyze the things she overanalyzes and gets into detail about, so how does that make us any diffrent? That just means we think alike, and thats why were all freinds...

I just don't get why thats such a big deal to her. It's just her freinds being worried about career choices she may or may not make. It's just us being cautious and looking out for her, it's what freinds do.

She also said theres a ton of other things, then signed off like a total emo without bothering to finish what she started.

Let me say this:

If it's sex or drugs related, even thought I feel strongly about this, I understand people make mistakes.

If's it's guy realted, then it's okay because freinds come before boyfreinds.

If it's somthing that bothers her about us, she can tell us becuase thats how healthy freindships form.

If it's the fear that we are growing distant, then she can get as distant as she wants, but the rest of us will stay together and always keep her in mind.

I really don't know what it could be, but whatever it is, It has to be relatively minuscule to never have affected us in anyway before.

We always have so much fun together, so I don't understand why she's being so emo about everything. No one else has any problems with anybody else, so why does she have to magically create them out of thin air? It makes no sense. It just doesn't...It's so random and retarded.

These are my very cruel and final thoughts:


GET OVER WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS BECAUSE WHERE YOU FREINDS AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP LITTLE POINTLESS SECRETS. TALK TO ME FOR JEBUS SAKE AND DON'T GET ALL EMO WHEN I TRY TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER OR WHEN I SAY WHATEVER YOUR GETTING ALL DRAMTIC OVER IS DRMATIC AND POINTLESS. IF IT MATTERED IT WOULD BE A BIGGER ISSUE, BUT SOMEHOW, YOUR THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER HAS PROBLEMS WITH ANYONE ELSE. WHEN CAL AND I HAVE PROBLEMS THEY NEVER LAST, BECAUSE WE CAN FOCUS ON THE GOOD THINGS IN OUT FREINDSHIP AND NOT ALL THE TINY BAD THINGS NO ONE EVER NOTICES. GET OVER IT. WE LOVE YOU AND YOU KNOW IT, SO DON'T ACT LIKE WE DON'T CARE AND THAT TALKING TO US WOULD MAKE THINGS WORSE BECAUSE WE BOTH KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE. IF YOU DISLIKE SO MANY THINGS ABOOUT ANY OF YOUR FREINDS SHIPS AND REFUSES TO TALK TO US THEN WHAT THE POINT OF HAVIING FREINDS? WHATEVER IT IS, YOU CAN SHARE IT, NOT KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AND MAKE US ALL FEEL BAD IN THE END. WERE THERE FOR YOU, AND YOU HAVE TO TELL US WHEN THINGS AHPPEN INSTEADOF BOTTLEING THEM UP AND MAKING THINGS WAY WORSE.


Sounds mean, but I have no idea what to do any more. I love her to peices, but it always seems like whatever drama goes on originates from her being dramatic over little pointless shit...

I feel so sick now...I'm crying because I feel like a total Physco-bitch who just rags on her friends, and she's probabaly crying because she feels like none of us understand and emo things like that...

I don't know what to do. I want to be the best person I can be, and I want to help, and I don't want tp give up on her but I have too...If she wants to stay away from us and be emo, then I'll let her.

I'll just have to have that sad feeling of knowing that while she pretends to be busy at home when we want her over she's actaullu hiding from us.

I just give up. I'm not putting up with it anymore. I'm tired of trying to be a person she can rely on, because all she ever does is complain about how many things about us bother her amd about how bad her life is..

I just give up. I dont want to, but I have to, otherwise I'll just end up all the more hurt.